Self-sabotage in healthy relationships is a protective survival strategy, not a moral failure or a sign that you are broken. It stems from a subconscious belief that love is unsafe or destined to be lost, causing you to exit a relationship on your own terms to avoid the pain of being left. They are kind to you. They text back. They remember what you said three weeks ago about that thing your sister said. They make plans and keep them. When they look at you across the table you feel, for a flickering second, what it might be like to be loved without having to perform for it. And then, somewhere in the third or fourth month, you notice yourself starting to pull away. You find a small flaw and magnify it. You manufacture a reason to be irritated. You go quiet. You start thinking, half-consciously, about your ex. You find yourself, with horror, looking for the exit. Self-sabotage is